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Break It Down
By Manny Tsigas

Live Shows

For the past three or so years I’d decided not to attend WWE’s Australian house shows. It felt weird knowing that these performers I’d spent a large portion of my life watching had just travelled halfway around the world to my shores – and I couldn’t be bothered seeing them.

But the truth is it took me about three or four live shows to realise I would just end up seeing the same event over and over again. The same mid-card superstars kept coming down, applied the same ridiculous amount of rest-holds, and probably ventured to the top rope twice throughout the entire night. Then the main event would finally roll around which would quickly turn into a fizzer, before ending in some mundane way that would even have the 12-year-old marks demanding a refund.

I remember seeing a match between Val Venis and Goldust at Rod Laver Arena a few years ago where Val had suffered what appeared to be a serious knee injury. The entire arena went quiet, and Goldust kept to his corner with a look of concern on his face. He even held the ropes open as three or four officials tried to help Val out of the ring. The audience began applauding, showing genuine respect for what appeared to be a legitimate injury. Then, without warning, Venis leapt out of the referees’ grasp, and kicked Goldust square in the gut. The crowd exploded. It was all a work, and we’d bought it – hook, line and sinker.

The following year Victoria was wrestling in a match, until she had fallen to the canvas with what appeared to be a serious injury. The entire arena went quiet, and her opponent kept to her corner with a look of concern on her face. She even held the ropes open etc etc etc.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing but admiration and respect for wrestlers who come to our shores, do the media rounds and attend autograph sessions, only to put on a smallish show and be bungled onto a plane to do it all again the next day.

But I ask you, why go to so much trouble to pedal mediocrity?

When WWE first announced its 2002 Global Warning Tour, I lost my mind. Being a lifelong fan of WWE, not only was I about to see my first live show, it was to happen right in my own backyard. Sure, I ended up in the extreme nosebleed section (where I probably saw more than the poor saps seated on the ground whose view was obstructed by signs and taller fans), but the important thing was that WWE had finally made its way to Australia, and I was there to witness it.

However, walking away I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. Characters and ongoing storylines had been thrown out the window for the sake of ensuring every match had a heel and a face (Kurt Angle went from an America gold medallist with his head up his ass, to the defender of Australia’s honour). And, no mater where you sat, the wrestling itself was mediocre at best.

I’d only attended my first-ever live wrestling event the year before. The Superstars of Wrestling was advertised as an “action, satisfaction, somebody’s-gonna-end-up-in-traction event”. They got that last part right, as it featured wrestlers who were waaaaaaaaay past their prime, and just walking down the aisle proved hazardous to their health.

It was a roster that would’ve set Rod Laver Arena on fire – if it was 1982. Tatanka, Typhoon, Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, One Man Gang, “Mr Wonderful” Paul Orndorff, the Road Warriors – and a main event featuring one of my favourites of all time, “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig, taking on... Dennis Rodman?

The show itself was much like the Gimmick Battle Royal at Wrestlemania X7 – a bit of fun featuring some old-school faves. In fact I saw many of these guys pop up again and again on the WWE roster (namely Animal, Tatanka and Hennig) in the years to come.

A couple of months later the World Wrestling All-Stars came down, featuring a slightly more updated roster. As well as having Bret “Hitman” Hart as GM, the card featured Norman Smiley, Buff Bagwell, Gangrel, Juventud Guerrera, Jeff Jarrett and Psicosis. I especially remember that event after sitting through a painful taping of the “comedy” show “The Big Schmooze” just so I could get an autograph from Stevie Ray and “Road Dogg” Jesse James.

It was a few years later while hosting my own wrestling-themed community radio show that I received an email inviting me to attend a local wrestling event. It was at an Italian social club about 10ks from whoop-whoop. I was told not to expect anything flash in terms of presentation, but the wrestling would be top notch.

The ring was set up in the middle of a bocce court, and there must’ve been about 25 people there (including the crew), but I wasn’t disappointed. The stories were raw and the matches were brutal. Much like the NWA or ECW, it had a very blue-collar feel to it. The wrestlers weren’t chiselled behemoths, but every-day guys who could pull off unpolished, but convincing manoeuvres.

A little while after that I went to another show at the Jordanville Community Centre in southeast Melbourne, where I witnessed my sickest live bump. A guy calling himself Brave Dave lived up to his name by receiving a suplex off the ring apron. Dave was hurled over the top rope, before he and his opponent landed flat on their backs on the hall’s unforgiving hardwood floor. That was followed immediately by a well-deserved “holy shit” chant from the 30 or so patrons in attendance.

It’s all these reasons and more that I would pick a local wrestling bash over a WWE house show any day. But there is one thing WWE can do to make me turn the other way – and that’s treating Australia’s loyal fans to an actual episode of RAW or Smackdown.

Seriously, Milan can get a taping of RAW but Sydney or Melbourne can’t?

But having said that, WWE would have to put a heluva lot more effort into ours than they did in Milan. For those of you who don’t remember (lucky you), it started with Vince coming out and babbling on the mic for 30 minutes straight (in English to an Italian crowd), followed by the debut of Santino Marella (as a face, thus boring as hell) and a Diva fashion show. Yes, a fashion show at a wrestling event. That's like going to a taping of Jerry Springer and seeing "Jersey Boys".

For those who doubt whether Australia would be a prime spot to host a week of WWE TV shows, consider this little factoid. Back in 2002 WWE’s Global Warning Tour broke the then-Colonial Stadium’s attendance record with a crowd of more than 56,700 people.

That ended up being a bigger turnout than Wrestlemania 19 the following year.

The people of RAWstralia have spoken – it’s time to bring a little Smackdown Under.

Manny Tsigas is a journalist for SBS World News Australia, and a lifelong wrestling fan. When he’s not watching, reviewing and obsessing over films, he also enjoys music, writing, anime, videogames, stand up comedy and anything to do with the 1980s. You can email him at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

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