Break It Down
By Manny Tsigas
Covering TNA's Australian Tryouts
If you’d told me about three years ago that I’d be working as a journalist for SBS World News Australia, chances are I would have laughed my proverbial ass off. In the two years I’ve been working there I’ve managed to cover a plethora of hard-hitting stories – week-long riots on the streets of Athens, the Mumbai bombings and the Black Saturday bushfires. Whether it’s earthquakes and landslides, or broken political promises and scandals, I’ve had the pleasure of contributing stories to the public’s everlasting hunger for news.
But then there are those weeks where I get to have a bit of fun. And last week was probably the most fun I’ve had at work in my entire life. As you all would’ve heard or seen by now, TNA paid Sydney a visit to hold tryouts for some local wrestling talent (be it wrestlers, commentators, managers or referees) to appear in their upcoming Maximum Impact Tour.
When I received word of this I pitched it immediately to my editors, which was met with a mixture of scepticism and enthusiasm. To sweeten the deal I offered to audition as well, but in respect of those who actually do this for a living, I opted to commentate rather than step in the ring.
The day began with an interview at Star City casino with Jeff Jarrett and Christy Hemme. I arrived to find Jeremy Borash being interviewed by Red Carpet Injection in the lobby while eating a Subway sandwich. It reminded me of the last time I saw JB in person back in 2001, when he came to promote the first (and only) World Wrestling All-Stars tour. I briefly chatted to him as we waited for Jeff and Christy to arrive, where he mentioned how he was in Australia when the September 11 attacks occurred, and for that reason Australia would always hold a special place in his heart.
Seeing Jeff and Christy face to face was an interesting experience. My mind was flooded with memories of Jeff’s time at the then-WWF – his tag-team partnership with the late Owen Hart, his Intercontinental Championship rivalries with Razor Ramon and Chyna (among others), and his famous “Don’t Piss Me Off” t-shirt that was converted to “Don’t Make Me Mad” on his official action figure. Over the past five years I’d also seen Christy Hemme’s career flourish, from Diva Search winner to wrestling forthe WWE Women’s Championship at Wrestlemania.
Although during the interview, Jeff was quick to quash any mention of Christy’s time with WWE.
The interview was short and sweet, outlining tour information and how Australia had “the best fans in the world”. But Jeff also had a warning to the contestants he was about to see: “If you don’t want to do this or have a deep burning desire to do this, you will fail miserably.”
The auditions were held at Martin Place Amphitheatre in the heart of Sydney’s CBD. The ring was surrounded by hundreds of people, mostly wrestlers and fans, along with a few curious passers-by on their lunch-break. The three judges, Hemme, Borash and Jarrett took their seats as local wrestlers were paired up to put on a 60-second display of their in-ring prowess. The crowd and the TNA trio were hoping for something memorable in less than a minute – the pressure became palpable.
As the matches progressed I happened to read some of Jeff’s notes over his shoulder, and most of them were very blunt. “Number 1: Sucked”, “Number 2: Horrible body”, “Number 3: Needs work”, and so on. At one stage Christy Hemme arose to remind everyone that despite the short time frame, they wanted to see more. The first few matches, according to her, seemed rushed, and they wanted more interaction with the audience as none of them had even made eye contact with the judges as they came out.
There were a few stand-out performances. The AWF had a good day with the likes of “The Maniac” Wayne Mattei (who did a run-in before delivering a stunning chokeslam) and Ben Coles (better known as Iron Jay from the I&J Fish Fillet commercials) warming up the crowd nicely. In the managerial stakes, you couldn’t really go past Mike Dalton from the Today show, whose report (done in the style of Jason Jones from The Daily Show) was top-notch.
Then came my time to “shine”, as John Seru (better known as Vulcan from “Gladiators”) handed me a microphone to call a match. One slight problem though – I wasn’t given any names. As I tried to call various moves I fumbled with the wrestlers’ application forms, desperately trying to find their monikers. So boys, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry. I would give you a more heartfelt apology, but unfortunately I still don’t know your names. But here’s hoping that’ll change after February.
Luckily I was allowed to call two more matches, and the other handful of announcing hopefuls also did a fantastic job throughout the afternoon.
While I’m apologising to wrestlers, I’ll also send out a sorry to the AWF’s resident man-mountain, Massive Q. For me, the best part of the day was getting vox-pops from the 70 or so people who rocked up (and congrats to Kracker Jack who managed to get his mug on just about every channel). Unbeknownst to me, as we interviewed Massive Q my cameraman thought it would be funny to pan down to his “generous” gut as he detailed how he just crushed his last opponent.
I decided to use it because I thought it would add some comedic value to the story, and from what I heard it succeeded. But Q, I never meant to cause any offence to you, and I apologise if it did. If it’s any conciliation, your contribution to the story (and to the competition in general) was priceless.
The reaction I got from the story was nothing short of phenomenal. As word spread around the newsroom, I had reporters from both news and sport reminisce about how they used to watch local wrestling shows featuring Mario Milano, Killer Kowalski, Andre the Giant and Skull Murphy among others. Another spoke of how he attended a live WWF show in Canada in the mid-80s, and was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of wrestling fans. In the past I’d also chatted to SBS anchor Anton Enus, who watched his own father wrestle while growing up in South Africa.
As I mentioned before I myself didn’t step into the ring out of respect for the craft. So to those 700 people who asked why I didn’t wear lycra or bust out a few moves, that’s why. But I was told that a few years back a friend of mine had done a similar report for SBS, and was bodyslammed during his piece-to-camera.
Looks like I have my work cut out for me.
Regardless, I had a ball, and I’d like to thank everyone who turned up to make the afternoon an absolute spectacle. To those who competed, I have nothing but the utmost respect for all of you and I wish you all the best of luck. It’s people like you who wear your love of wrestling on your sleeve and are willing to step in the ring that makes it what it is today. In fact, I implore everyone who’ll be attending TNA’s Australian tour to check out THESE men and women in action in their live shows. Whether it’s the AWF in Sydney or Wrestlerock in Melbourne, these shows happen with almost as much frequency as TNA, and have just as much colour and excitement.
Thank you to all who contributed and here’s to the growth of wrestling in Australia.
Manny Tsigas is a journalist for SBS World News Australia, and a lifelong wrestling fan. When he’s not watching, reviewing and obsessing over films, he also enjoys music, writing, anime, videogames, stand up comedy and anything to do with the 1980s. You can email him at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
